Labor Day Parakeets

A simple web search today in 2015 will give you several reasons why parakeets are not good pets. As you have no doubt figured out, Michael Immanuel David is linked to many darker aspects of my childhood story and parakeets are no exception. There is no sexual aspect, nor blood or gore, but it is dark enough.
Dark against the vibrant blues and yellows and responsive bird intelligence. Birds are free so why aren’t we. According to Bob Dylan the poet song-writer, but maybe his lyric had to do with birds being chained to their skyway.
First reason parakeets are not good pets: They are only a generation removed from the wild. Unlike dogs and cats, they do not have an established symbiotic relationship with humans. They confuse touching. I said there was no sexual element here, but at least not overt. Touching is confusing for a bird at least to the extent innate biological responses to affectionate touching generate functions related to reproduction.
Iguanas are another so-called pet some people think to adopt as a pet which has a sexual type response to basic human warmth. Iguanas will self-ovulate and singularly bring the egg to fruition based upon petting. If the iguana does not have several feet of earthen soil in which to bury the egg, the iguana will die; egg-borne is the term.
Parakeets do not become similarly egg-borne, but they do feel. We cannot know what their experience of feeling entails, but you can imagine it is a real enough feeling to not engage for any purpose. I do not know Michael Immanuel’s experience, but I can imagine it is real enough not to engage for any purpose.
Second reason parakeets are not good pets: cleaning the cage. Third reason parakeets are not good pets: smelly is enough reason.
Fourth reason parakeets are not good pets: well it isn’t that they aren’t good so much as well, why do you need one?
Fifth reason parakeets are not good pets: no added thoughts here required, but don’t let me stop you, if you love your bird so much.
Sixth reason parakeets are not good pets: wash your hands! wash your hands! wash your hands!
Seventh reason parakeets are not good pets: Michael Immanuel will be released by his mother after having been grounded for half the summer. He will come into your house. He will do so when you are not home, nor will anybody be home because everyone went to a park for the Labor Day weekend holiday. He will hide the birds under the kitchen sink. They will chirp and everyone will wonder where they are; they are frightened and are hiding.

2 responses to “Labor Day Parakeets”

  1. This is a very insightful, well written piece.
    I had Pretty Petey the Parakeet.
    I saved lots of months of allowance money in the fourth grade to buy him and his cage.
    He escaped the cage.
    Drowned in the toilet.
    But, I didn’t stop, I bought Pretty Petey II. And a mate, Beauty. I bred them. Watched the eggs grow into chicks, and Beauty kill them all, but one, before I stopped her, and couldn’t save the survivor.
    I know, “Why the caged bird sings.”
    And why you shouldn’t cage birds.

    Liked by 1 person

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